Sometimes it feels as if life is broken.
Our culture tells us life should be easy, and if you’re struggling, you’re doing something wrong.
Like everyone, I face my challenges. Work stress. Sick kids. Sleepless nights. Last October, I was 42 pounds heavier. I still have 20 pounds to lose. I’m building a business, but have a long way to go.
It’s tempting to believe the people selling shortcuts. “Lose 30 pounds in 30 days!” “Work smarter, not harder!” “Life hacks for busy parents!”
I had a moment of clarity at 2 AM one night when I couldn’t sleep after a hectic day. Lying there in the dark, wrestling with my thoughts, something shifted. What if life wasn’t broken? What if this was exactly how it was supposed to be?
That question led me down a rabbit hole. Turns out, some of the world’s oldest wisdom traditions say life is supposed to be challenging, almost like a school where struggle is the curriculum. We’re not here to relax, but to wake up. Life is meant to grow your soul.
Think about it. The strongest people you know have often been through hell. The wisest ones have made the biggest mistakes. The most compassionate people? They’ve suffered the most.
But we tend to only see the success stories. We don’t want to know about the suffering behind the scenes.
The Same Patterns, Different Days
Instead of asking “What is this trying to teach me?” we ask “How do I make this stop?”
Meanwhile, we keep repeating the same patterns. The same relationship dynamics with different people. The same money issues despite raises and windfalls. The same emotional triggers in different situations. The same health struggles that willpower never seems to fix.
This isn’t bad luck. These are lessons we haven’t learned yet.
The problem with our instant-everything world is that we’ve been conditioned to run from discomfort. To medicate pain. To outsource every hard thing.
Can’t lose weight? Take a pill. Can’t focus at work? Find a new job. Can’t connect with your kids? Buy them something. Difficult conversation? Text instead.
We’re losing the ability to grow through struggle.
The Comfort Trap
We’ve optimized for comfort and wondered why we feel so empty.
Comfort can be the enemy of growth. When everything’s easy and predictable, you don’t pay attention. When everything’s smooth, you don’t evolve.
Now, let me be clear: Depression is real. Trauma is real. Some struggles require professional help, not just grit. But there’s a difference between unavoidable pain and avoidable growth.
Be a Student
There’s a difference between being a victim and being a student.
A victim suffers for no reason. A student suffers for growth.
A victim is acted upon by circumstances. A student participates in their evolution.
A victim asks “Why me?” A student asks “What is this trying to teach me?”
Struggle helps you remember who you actually are. Not the small, scared, comfort-seeking person you thought you were, but the one who can learn and grow and who’s exactly where they need to be.
Stop looking for the easy way. Your struggles aren’t punishments.
They can deliver you into a better life.
