I have two Afrikaans main characters planned for the follow-up to Red To Stop, the novel I just published.
You’d expect them to speak to each other in their shared home language, at least sometimes. But let’s be honest: dump in too much foreign dialogue and you’ll confuse readers and wreck the flow.
How do you make it work?
The Golden Rule: Never Make Readers Work For It
Your audience came for the story, not subtitles.
If they pause, flip to a glossary, or open Google Translate—they’re gone.
Translate in-line, instantly.
Ruan, kan jy my hoor?
Can you hear me? Ed repeated, her voice low in the dark.
Use Foreign Words Like Spices
Foreign dialogue should reveal character, spike emotion, or signal intimacy.
Good uses
- Swear words (Fokkit when the plan implodes)
- Endearments (skat, boetie)
- Commands (Loop!, Staan op!)
- Cultural insults or idioms
Bad uses
- Plot-critical information
- Long speeches
- Filler chit-chat
Cap at three short foreign lines per scene.
Formatting
Italics for the foreign line
- No quotation marks around it
- Speaker tag or action to anchor it
- Translation in plain text, right after
Jy’s te hardkoppig, Ed muttered.
You’re too stubborn.
Internal Thoughts: The Secret Weapon
Foreign language shines in a character’s head, especially under stress.
Ruan’s mind looped the same words, over and over:
Byt vas, boetie.
Hold on, little brother.
The Author’s Note (One Line, Back of Book)
One line saves confusion: Afrikaans phrases are italicized and translated immediately. No prior knowledge needed.
Place it in the front or after the acknowledgments.
Your 5-Point Checklist
- Under 5% of total dialogue is foreign
- Every foreign line is translated within two beats
- Used only for emotion, identity, or intimacy
- Formatted: italics, no quotes, immediate translation
- One-line author’s note included
Final Thought
Foreign language isn’t a gimmick.
Use it right, and readers feel the bond between characters before the words click. Overdo it, and they won’t finish.
Now go write the scene.
